Post by ritchardhedd on Jan 20, 2010 10:57:29 GMT -5
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still
haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started......
My wife walked into the den & asked "What’s on the TV?" I replied "Dust".
And that's how the fight started.....
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something
shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds. I bought her a bathroom scale.
And that's how the fight started.....
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It really warmed my heart to see her face melt in
sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's how the fight started....
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
'Do you want to have sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look
at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.' So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's how the fight started....
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So, I took her to a gas station.
And that's how the fight started......
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream
for $7.95. I told her the beer’d make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's how the fight started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging
her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't
been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's how the fight started...
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter
asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman
said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your
chest is proof enough for me,' and she processed my Social Security application.. When I got home, I excitedly
told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.
You might have gotten Disability, too'.
And that's how the fight got started..... .
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some odd reason, took my order first. I'll have the strip steak,
medium rare, please.' The waiter said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow? 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's how the fight got started....
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still
haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started......
My wife walked into the den & asked "What’s on the TV?" I replied "Dust".
And that's how the fight started.....
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something
shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds. I bought her a bathroom scale.
And that's how the fight started.....
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' It really warmed my heart to see her face melt in
sweet appreciation. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
And that's how the fight started....
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said,
'Do you want to have sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look
at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.' So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's how the fight started....
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.
So, I took her to a gas station.
And that's how the fight started......
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream
for $7.95. I told her the beer’d make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's how the fight started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging
her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't
been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife. 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's how the fight started...
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter
asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman
said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your
chest is proof enough for me,' and she processed my Social Security application.. When I got home, I excitedly
told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.
You might have gotten Disability, too'.
And that's how the fight got started..... .
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some odd reason, took my order first. I'll have the strip steak,
medium rare, please.' The waiter said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow? 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's how the fight got started....